When my baby was born everyone told me
that you cannot spoil a baby, that you cannot hold them too much. Well, I don't
know if that's true, but I do know that my little girl did not sleep in her own
bed until she was almost 4 months old! She was perfectly content being held or
sleeping in bed with mommy and daddy.
When Emma was a few days old she started
not wanting to be put down, at all! She woke up the second you put her down,
she screamed when she got a bath or a diaper change and she hated the swing we
had bought her. Every baby is different. Some won't mind being put down to
sleep, and others like mine, just aren't having it. If this is how your baby
is, just know that you are not alone! I must have tried everything until she
finally started to be alright with laying in her own bed. I remember being
excited for her to even lay in her bed for 15 mins by herself, it was just THAT
bad.
There was one morning when Emma was about
a week old and she started crying and her dad picked her up, I was asleep. He
woke me up and I begged him to hold her for a few more minutes (I averaged
about 3-4 hours of sleep a day, so I was desperate), but he had to leave to go
to work. then he said, "She wants you anyway". He handed her to me
and she instantly stopped crying a fell asleep on my chest. I was very
reluctant, to be the "co-sleeper parent". But like I said, I was
desperate. So, she slept with me for 4 hours, the longest she had slept
ever! Through out the next day, I tried to get her to sleep alone,
and when I got really desperate, I gave in.
I was nursing at the time, so I would lay
on my side, and lay her next to me and nurse. I would burp her and then she
would fall asleep next to me. Sometimes I would fall asleep while I was
nursing. I was so nervous about her laying with me that I would wake up every
hour. I had to lay on my side because of nursing her, and even after nursing,
there wasn't much room left. It was kind of uncomfortable, but I was getting
some much needed sleep. After I caught up on a little sleep, we started to
really try and get her to sleep in her own bed. At 4 months old she finally,
slept in her own bed for 8 hours. By 6 months she was completely on a schedule:
2, 2 hour naps a day and bed for 12 hours a night. It might have took me longer
than it will take someone else, but I'm proud of having a sleeping baby in her
own bed.
These are some of the things I tried. If
one doesn't work for you, try another one. Just don't give up! Everything a
baby does is a phase, so enjoy the cute one's and remember that the tough one's
won't last long!
1. Make
a Bedtime and Nap Time Routine
This is the most important thing. Start
with a bed time routine, do the same thing every night, so they know what is
coming. Then, do something similar for nap time, so they began to make
connections with the routine and time to sleep. Younger babies don't need
scheduled naps because they sleep so much. But when they are a little older,
you can put them on scheduled naps and feedings (which is great!). If you don't
pick their bed time, they might make their own bed time and not want to sleep
until 2 am. Go here to see my article on ideas for making a routine that works
for you.
2. Try
a Pacifier.
Emma, my stubborn baby, wouldn't take one.
She tried it for the first few days, but then realized it wasn't giving her
milk. She also only took one bottle, The Tommee Tippee Bottles (sold at Babies R Us). Try a pacifier, if you
are really set on getting your baby to use one and they won't take it, try a
bunch of different brands, the Soothie Pacifiers are one of the most popular pacifiers. The
same style comes in different brands, and this is what most hospitals use. Just
keep putting it back in their mouth when they spit it out. If they still never
take to it (like my baby), at least you don't have to wean them off the
pacifier!
Ways to get your baby to take a pacifier:
1. Soak the pacifier in sugar water in the
fridge.
2. Use a pacifier medicine taker and fill
it with breast milk, formula, or sugar water.
3. Use the bottle nipples as a
pacifier.
3. Swaddle
Them
This imitates the womb when they were so
tight they could hardly move. Try swaddling your little one, some babies love
it and others hate it. Learn how to correctly swaddle a baby here.
4. Rock
Your Baby to Sleep
Remember how your little one kept you up
all night kicking when you were pregnant? That's because you moving through out the day would put
them to sleep, so they were awake when you wanted to sleep. Rocking the imitates how they feel asleep in the womb. You can
try a glider or rocking chair, most people get these for the nursery. You can
even bounce you baby in an up down motion while rocking around. Rocking them
will put them into a deeper sleep and they might not wake up when you move them
to their own bed.
5. Keep
the Lights Low
Try to keep it dark, don't turn on a light
when you go to get them from their crib if they haven't slept. Let them know
that when it's dark, its time to sleep. You might have to buy black out
curtains for the babies room, so that it stays dark.
6. Keep
Them The Right Temperature
Try to cover them with a blanket, or put
them in a sleeping shirts for babies. Make sure that they aren't to hot or to
cold. Dress them in the right clothes and make sure your temperature in the
house follows. We had to close her vents sometimes because it would get too
cold in our babies room. Sometimes babies will get overheated when they
are swaddled or when they are crying.
7. Stay
Quiet
Never yell at your baby. If you get
frustrated walk away, take a few deep breaths and come back. They can't help
it, they don't know what to do. If your baby won't sleep don't talk to them, or
to someone else. Don't talk on the phone or watch tv if you rock them. Try to
stay quiet and talk them in a low soothing voice letting them know that its
ok.
8. Play
Music
We didn't have a cd player and cd.. but we
did have an old phone and an sd card. So we have a phone that plays music in
her room constantly. You can get the baby lullaby songs, or the baby
classical music. We played Enya for a while, because she has really soft music
that I used to play to help me sleep when I was pregnant. Music can help sooth
the baby. If you want, you can even record yourself singing your babies
favorite lullaby and play that. It would be just like you were in the room
singing to them.
9. Sing
to Them
I am a terrible singer, but my baby
doesn't think so! :) She loves to be rocked and sung to sleep. You can sing
anything, but learning lullabies isn't so bad either. I even made up my own
song for her. After you lay your baby down keep singing. Sing until you slowly
walk out of the room. If they start to cry, move into their eye sight and keep
singing. It might take a while, but staying in their eye sight lets the know
that they are still safe in the crib.
10. Make
Their Bed Soft
Baby mattresses are hard, and it
is not recommended to lay them on pillows or anything that can conform around
their face and be hazardous of suffocation. But, they do sell mattress covers,
that go under the sheet and makes the crib bed softer. With the bassinet, you
can wrap the mattress in a soft blanket, but make sure there are no ends
sticking up.
11. Make
Them Full
If your baby is fairly less than 4 months
old, nurse them, or bottle feed them. Some babies fall asleep eating. Let them
be completely full and then try to get them to sleep. For older babies, try
rice cereal. Some people put it in their bottle before they go to bed, because
it helps them stay full longer. This isn't recommended, its more recommended to
have them learn that they are full from a spoon. But you can do what is best
for your family.
12. Lay
Them on Their Side
Some babies like to lay in different
positions. Try laying your baby on their side and see if they will sleep better
in a new position.
13. Lay
Them on Their Tummy
This is what worked for my baby. I would
rock her to sleep and then lay her on her tummy, when she would start to fuss I
would pat her back/bottom, and she would go back to sleep. Eventually, I had to
pat her less and less, but at first, I might stand there for almost and hour
before she would finally fall back asleep and stay asleep. If you do this, make
sure your baby can hold their head up enough to turn it to the other side. The
first time you try this, I recommend watching them on a camera screen baby
monitor or going into the room every 15 mins, just to make sure that they
aren't laying face down on their mattress.
14. Prop
Their Mattress Up
For some reason babies sleep better when
laying at an angle. Even in the hospital they prop their beds up at an angle.
You can put some blankets under neath the mattress (crib or bassinet), but just
at a small angle, nothing dramatic.
15. Put
Mommy's clothes in the crib or bassinet
A baby knows it's mommies smell, and it
comforts them. Put the clothes you wear that day in the crib (yes, the dirty
spit up on clothes that you wore that day). If they are clean, they won't smell
like you. If you wear perfume everyday, you can even try spraying a little on
the clothes before you put it in the babies crib. I have done this several
different ways: putting it above or next to the baby, laying the clothes flat
underneath the baby, wrapping the baby in the clothes and rolling the clothes
up in a log style roll and laying them next to the baby. This method tries to
trick the baby into thinking that you are still there.
16. Warm
Blankets
Babies love to be warm. You can put a
blanket, towel, their bed sheet, or even your clothes (from #15) into the dryer
and try to wrap them in it, lay them on it, or roll it up in a log style roll
next to them. I felt very silly putting a shirt that had spit up on it into the
dryer, and then into my babies crib, but if it helps both of us get some sleep
I would be a very happy mommy!
17. Lay
a Pillow Next To Them
If you put a pillow or a rolled up blanket
next to them, it helps to trick them into thinking that someone is still laying
with them.
18. The
Cry It Out Method
I personally, don't believe in this. When
Emma got out of the hospital she had jaundice, so she had to be on a bellibed
(looks like a baby tanning bed) all day. The longer she was on there the more
she hated it. But the doctor simply explained to me that crying
doesn't hurt her, and that she would eventually stop. The truth is: Hearing
them cry hurts you more than it hurts them. Babies need to know its bed time,
and that they are not going to be held all the time. Put them in their bed
asleep, if they wake up leave them for 5 -10 minutes. If they stop, or sound
like they might be falling asleep but the cry again, start counting all over.
If you have to go get them, put them back to sleep, and do the process over. It
might take a week or so, but eventually, they will stop crying so much. But at
least they know you will always come back for them.
19. Car
Rides
This may be the most overused new baby
fear, that you will have to drive them around in the middle of the night. Emma
would fall right asleep in the car and most of the time, she stayed asleep in
her car seat when we carried it in somewhere. She would cry when you slowed
down or stopped at red light. I would be lying if I said I didn't drive her
around a couple times at 3 or 6 am. Car rides work, but use them as a last
resort. You don't want your baby getting dependent on falling asleep like that.
20. Let
Them Sleep With You
Many people love co-sleeping. I wasn't
comfortable with it, it made me more nervous and woke everyone up a lot more. I
won't lie. She would spit up on my bed, kick me, and one time she leaked
through her diaper and I woke up with my face laying on a wet bed sheet. The
only good thing was that she slept a lot longer, I didn't have to get up
through the night and that I knew she was safe. She also learned to fall asleep
on her own, which may have helped her in the long run.
